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This is part 2 of my thoughts on beauty.
The rest of the quote goes like this. “It is our response to revelation of the beauty of the cross, grace descending from heaven, gently curving to the ground offering life through Jesus’ own death.” (Joel Klepac WMF Romania)
This idea of surrender, of stepping aside and letting ourselves fade away is portrayed in our relationship with God and the beauty of the cross. The beauty i talked about previously is just a fraction of what it is like to see the beauty of our own savior and that is what draws us to worship and submission of God. I had been avoiding my home church since being home because it is a huge, megachurch, pentecostal, prosperity message type of church. I don’t think that my church or churches like that are all bad, but they are generally the arch enemy of ministries or churches that celebrate simplicity, the poor, justice and a broader worldview. I just didn’t want my church expereince of megachurches to be ruined because there are things that i appreciate and things i don’t. Anyways I finally went last weekend to the smallest of 3 campuses locally and the one i usually attended because i thought it would be less overwhelming then the large 3000 people auditorium. One thing i missed a lot while i was gone was real, heart felt, sing with your whole heart, led by the spirit worship. Since being home i attended a different church but they only sang 2 songs in the beginning and then went straight to the sermon. What drew me back to my home church was the craving for the worship time I have always loved. I was a bit nervous and was praying for a soft and open heart.
Oh man, the worship was sweet! I had been so hungry for the presence of God that makes you sing a little louder, a little more excited to be in His presence and demands an arm-lifted position of surrender. I encountered the beauty of God that creates an atmoshpere in your heart that makes it about God and not you. It was great,passionate, lively, exciting and we sang this song with the line “My God is a God who saves.” It was such a relief in my spirit to proclaim that over everything i’m still wrestling with over my time in India. Worship for me reminds me of who God still is no matter what else is happening. He is still holy, still worthy, still faithful, still gracious, still saving, still compassionate and still near. Worship for me draws me into such beauty that I’d rather step aside, fade away and whole heartedly praise the only one who is fully worthy.
“When we see beauty we are “de self-centered.” By experiencing something transcendent, we willingly step aside and stand in awe of something else for a moment – our attention is momentarily diverted from our own drives, our passion, our self-interested pursuits. When we behold something beautiful, we are glad to step aside, to be quiet, to give the beautiful subject our voluntary allegiance…Moments of experiencing beauty evoke this kind of willing “step aside” response. (Joel Klepac, serves in Romania with WMF)
This is it! Exactly, if only i could have said it like that. That statement is exactly why Kolkata stole my heart. Its why I didn’t miss the ”american/luxerious” life. No thing/food/experience here at home could compare to the beauty i experienced in India. (However the refills of lemonade at the american restaurant in Chennai would have been put in the “beautiful” category at the time). The beauty of the people there captured me and whisked me away. I know its crazy to say the most ugly, horrible, unjust place I have ever been was the most beautiful place I have ever experienced. I guess admist the darkness the light was that much brighter and admist the ugliness the beauty was more breathtaking. The beauty of a smile, laughter, a child, a kind word, a loving embrace, and the beautiful value of our fellow human beings drew me into the oddest expereinces; places with rats, sitting on piles of garbage, being the center of attention, mocked and pointed at, getting lice, sitting on the street, sitting in the brothels, eating rice until i was going to vomit, sitting with the dying, hanging out in the slums, dancing like a fool and eating food so spicy it made me cry. But all of that faded away into the shadows of the radiance coming from the image of Christ I saw and experienced through the lives there. What i thought was important wasn’t really that important and what i thought really mattered, didn’t really matter. For a good part of the trip i was afraid to fully love and be loved back. I was afraid of the risk of love; of being disappointed, hurt, taken adavantage of, or feeling dumb, but then when i finally had the eyes to see, I saw the beauty I would willing “step aside” for.
Now imagine our Beautiful God…
Recently i have been lost deep in thought so i haven’t blogged because i feel like there is too much to say. Maybe it is ok to not have much to say for awhile and just let things be. However, yesterday finally something interesting enough to share happened. My dad and i were flipping through the 800 channels on dish tv and on the guide the program title read, “USA Rock, Paper, Scissors Championship”. I laughed out loud and asked my dad if he thought it was real. I mean, it was on EPSN and EPSN is a sports channel so i told my dad turn to it. And guess what?? It was real! There is a real rock, paper, scissors championship. There are real people playing rock, paper, scissors on tv as a sport. There is a referee, scoring, elimination, rules etc. It is either really funny or really dumb. I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t know you could be “good” at playing rock, paper, scissors, but i guess you can win a championship. Who knew? Then i thought, we are such a strange country, too bad someones creativity didn’t create a way to reduce world hunger or the number of people dying of aids. Instead it created a rock paper scissors tournament aired on ESPN. This world confuses me.
